MONDAY, 11.26.01 what a crazy weekend!!! brian and i drove down to meet up with brent and edsel for the "rainbow thanksgiving dinner"... a bunch of gays get together each year for a huge pot luck (which ended up being incredible!)... so much fun!!! the hosts were clement and doug and i love them to death!!! i also went to a gay bar called fire island... and (this is my favorite) to a karaoke baby christening!!! totally crazy... i'd love to go into details but i have to sleep!!!
TUESDAY, 11.20.01 okay, i thought i was getting pretty good at not getting star-struck... i mean, i know a couple of mild-to-big-time stars which has helped to get me used to being around these people... but lately it seems that (almost) every celebrity that i meet (or even just see) gets me all girlish and giddy... a few nights ago it was sissy spacek... i mean, i met CARRIE!!! you know, that nearly constitutes a full life!!! it was so thrilling... well, tonight at dinner we see stockard channing... i think a little peepee came out of me... i mean, i think she looked a little lushy this evening, but hey, it's betty rizzo!!! *sigh* i'm becoming more and more faggy everyday...
THURSDAY, 11.15.01 so i already feel planted here (even if it is just temporary)... i spent yesterday rearranging the furniture in this apartment... i figure that if i have to live somewhere for an extended period of time that i may as well make it feel like a home (plus, i'm just a big fag)... then last night i met up with brent for dinner... it was sooooo good to see him again... we had really connected when i met him back in august and i'd been missing him an awful lot... i'm so happy to be near him... well, after he left, brian and i went to bed and i had the best dream i have had in a long time... unfortunately, i don't remember what the dream was about, but i know that i woke up and felt really good... THEN... i mentioned to brian that i needed to go to the supermarket this morning... he said he wouldn't have time to drive me to and from before work so i should just drop him off at work and take the car for the day... now, i haven't driven in something like two and a half years... that's a long time, no??? i was so scared and kept begging him to call work and ask for 30 extra minutes... he said he couldn't do that and that i would be fine... i was shocked when i got behind the wheel and felt that absolutely no time had passed since the last time i drove... it was completely natural!!! and it was so much fun to jet through the WB lots yelling, "i'm young, thin, gorgeous AND i can drive!!!"...
TUESDAY, 11.13.01 i'm in los angeles... wow... talk about spontaneous travel... decided last night to come down here with brian and i'll probably be here for anywhere between two to three weeks... it's great, though, because i finally get to see brent again!!! it's all very exciting... the only drawback is that we are in burbank and i do NOT want to have to drive anywhere... ugh... not much to do within walking distance so i guess i better make some friends with cars... hehehe... i am, though, very very close to the buffy sets which i am planning on touring!!! that will be fun... i can't imagine that i'll have too much to report very often, but please do keep checking in!!!
MONDAY, 11.12.01 no more plane crashes!!! this one hit a little closer to home, if you pardon the unavoidable pun... brian had come home from los angeles yesterday for another of those ridiculous one day meetings in new york... he left me this morning to depart from kennedy airport and was ON THE RUNWAY when the plane that had just left JFK crashed 2 minutes after takeoff... for the last hour, news reports have said that it seems that the plane had lost an engine... i can't help but remember coming home to new york back in april and my plane losing a wing engine due to a small explosion... yeah, the plane shook for a while and everyone was screaming, but they got the plane balanced out and we landed just fine... perhaps this plane did experience the same sort of explosion and was too low to recover... *shrug* maybe not... it's just exactly one hour after the plane crashed and news reports have just for the first time suggested that some sort of incendiary device MAY have been used... i'm so tired...
SATURDAY, 11.10.01 a night of music and mayhem... let's just go in chronological order: traveled to the east village to see my friend rick(b) and his band the shelley winters project. then walked a whole TWO blocks to see andy's "h-o-m-o-s-e-x" comedy show (and unexpectedly join up with dan and michael)... THEN traveled all the way to midtown (hey! it's not a lot of fun at midnight, kids!) to caroline's comedy club for even more, well, comedy: this time by janeane garofalo. all in all it was a fun night... but now it's 4:30am and i really have to go to sleep...
FRIDAY, 11.09.01 i used to think i knew why i was gay... there had been many little things that added up to one big gay dan'l... some of those could have been dressing up in my grandma's satin night gowns as a child, tom cruise ("top gun" era), religious rebellion, etc. but it wasn't until i recently picked up a book that i hadn't read in something close to ten years that i realized what it was that made it all okay:
..."he was like one of those gracious figures in a pageant or a play, whose joys seem to be remote from one, but whose sorrows stir one's sense of beauty, and whose wounds are like red roses.
THURSDAY, 11.08.01 pictures from tonight's "all hands" benefit: an evening of art, music and rememberance for FDNY ladder company 3. there was an art exibit featuring paintings by former natalie merchant drummer pedro yanowitz and 343 (fallen firefighters) memorial handmade felt patches (i made one) at WDWA gallery in williamsburg. this was followed by a performance by pedro's black sabbath cover band 'hand of doom' at the stinger club.
TUESDAY, 11.06.01 oh my god!!! okay, so i wandered over to the rumpus room to watch what should have been the television event of the year: the buffy musical... it was sooooo good!!! i wish that i had recorded it so i could watch it over and over again... dan is just pure evil... but in the good way... he got me totally hooked on this buffy which is such an easy addiction considering that it is on fx every night... now i can't get enough... the only bad thing about having to watch the musical last night was missing the postponed halloween episode of the simpsons... ugh!!! i know there is that whole ratings competition thing that shows have to do, but sheesh... what are boys like me supposed to do??? if you or someone you know happened to record the simpsons last night, i'd love to talk!!!
scoptophobia - fear of being seen or stared at...
MONDAY, 11.05.01 "all you people look at me like i'm a little girl..." ummmm... wellllllllll... britney, you called the song "i'm a slave 4 U"... i'm kinda liking you, honey, but that was just bugging me...
SATURDAY, 11.04.01 last night i made plans to meet my friend dave from texas in the east village for drinks... he leaves back to san antonio on tuesday... just as i step out of the house i realize that i've locked my keys inside... usually this wouldn't be such a big deal, but brian is in los angeles, you know... and our other roommate is in the hamptons... and i'm really locked out!!! a bright side is that just before i left brian called to tell me that he was coming into new york for a meeting the next day... he'd be arriving at about 7:00am... i figure that i'll be fine if i can just find a place to stay for the night... of course, my dear friends pie and kai come through!!! they live just a few blocks away so they said, "come on over!!!" it was perfect... i had really planned on sleeping a lot and meeting up with my baby-come-home the next morning for brunch and spending my entire sunday cleaning the apartment... but... pie and i end up pulling an all night slumber party sans slumber... we sat up and talked about everything... mostly the serendipity that he and i share with each other... an example: a few days ago i'm walking along and suddenly wonder what pie and kai are up to so i give him a call...
"hey pie, it's freedom..."
we do it all the time... we both say the same thing at the same time... we both get sick from the same things... we both really love the same things... we're both married to jewish boys... some people say that it's just a few instances of having things in common with someone else... but he and i both feel this power that we believe controls the destiny between us... it's truly as if we're being moved in the same direction by the same force... and it's beautiful... we also talk about my dreams which, he believes, center mostly around a feeling i always subconsciously had to get away from my grandparents, eventhough i love them more than anything else on earth... we talked about the relative length and girth of the penis to the hand (you've heard that, right???)... we talked about "monogamy vs. commitment"... we talked about my dentist and how i let him molest me while i'm in the chair (and how much i actually enjoy it)... we talked about dr. seuss and how, if you look closely at his work, unimportant characters (or characters that are doing their natural thang (i.e. fish swimming, people riding on elephants, elephants giving people a ride, etc.)) always have their eyes closed and only important characters or characters that are interacting with you, the reader, have their eyes open... we talked about my old drug habit... we talked about s&m... we talked about seeing faces everywhere (you wouldn't understand)... we had a blast!!! so, around 6:30am he decides that perhaps it's time for bed, even though neither of us are tired... at 9:00am i get the call that brian has arrived and will be at their apartment in about 45 minutes to pick me up... normally i'd be beat at this moment, but i feel completely recharged and energized from my evening with pie... it was exactly the diversion that i needed right now...
SATURDAY, 11.03.01 i got this new photo montage software for free with something and forgot i had it until last night... was going through all the crap on my desk when i found it and thought i'd give it a try... i must say that it's pretty damn neat... here is a montage of pictures of brian, max, mookie, and i... fun!!!
FRIDAY, 11.02.01 here's that pic of me from halloween.
why is it that almost everytime i go into a search engine i get totally distracted by checking out the completely unrelated sites that are listed in my search??? i mean, i was looking up a recipe for fudge and this came up... i mean, it's a little crazy and a little scary but it's also a little sexy and i love it!!!
"all by myself... don't wanna be all by myself anymore..."
so, *sigh*, i'm alone right now... was sitting here in my pajamas trying to think of something to do to cure my lonliness when it hit me... let's have a party!!! i'm thinking next saturday??? all you new york kids (and anyone willing to travel) are invited to hang out with me and each other on saturday the 10th (unless there's already something big planned for that night and everyone but myself will be unavailable)... tell your friends!!! i've not thought of a good place to do this, so suggest something... come on, fellas, i need you right now...
THURSDAY, 11.01.01 here's exciting news:
(indieWIRE/10.30.01) -- "Trembling Before G-d," Sandi Simcha Dubowski's documentary about Orthodox and Hasidic gays and lesbians topped Film Forum's opening day box office record previously held by Jennie Livingston's "Paris is Burning." The movie grossed more than $5,500 on Wednesday and went on to nab more than $31,000 in its first five days in release. The film's success puts it among the top weekend grossers in the history of the downtown landmark, according to a rep for the movie.
Dubowski was on hand to introduce the film at numerous screenings this weekend. Yesterday evening the filmmaker, and some of the people included in the doc, joined a group of NYU students for an intimate discussion about the movie and the issues it raises.
The director, who spent nearly seven years making the movie before debuting it at Sundance earlier this year, expressed excitement at seeing members of nearby Hasidic neighborhoods in attendance. Women from a Lesbian Orthodox group also attended showings this weekend, according to Dubowski.
Dubowski and his team are working with a number of organizations to set-up special screenings of the movie. New York's gay and lesbian synagogue held a screening and reception on Sunday, while a private showing for citywide clergy will take place tonight. Dubowski is scheduled to attend numerous upcoming screenings, while other special showings will include gay/straight alliance screenings for students, a Jewish-Catholic dialogue and the first showing at an Orthodox synagogue is also set.
The film's run at Film Forum continues and the movie is set to open at the Jacob Burns Film Center in Pleasantville, NY on Nevember 15th. [Eugene Hernandez]
halloween... i'm such a fool... of COURSE i'd have fun on halloween... why do i let myself get so freaked out so easily... met up with some friends at a party and had a blast... below are pics from the party last night... didn't get any of myself, though, so i'll be waiting for someone to send one...
TUESDAY, 11.27.01 pics of clement and i with the bartender (ron) at the abbey...
"soul and body, body and soul - how mysterious they were! there was animalism in the soul, and the body had its moments of spirituality. the senses could refine, and the intellect could degrade. who could say where the fleshy impulse ceased, or where the physical impulse began? how shallow were the arbitrary definitions of ordinary psychologists? and yet how difficult to decide between the claims of the various schools! was the soul a shadow seated in the house of sin? or was the body really in the soul, as giordano bruno thought? the separation of spirit from matter was a mystery, and the union of spirit with matter was a mystery also."
- "the picture of dorian gray" by oscar wilde
"you are freaking me out!"
"why?"
you remember that gray t-shirt you left here a long long time ago?"
"yeah, why???"
"i'm standing in my closet holding your shirt thinking, 'i wonder what freedom's up to,' then the phone rings..."
"Trembling" Opens Stong in NYC; Sets One-Day Record
