charlie and i were away for a week housesitting at a friend's... a lot has happened in the world since then... if you didn't know:
hi jan!!!
SUNDAY | 06.22.03 | 11:44pm | beggin' i need work... see my stuff and tell your friends... *kissing you in advance*
SATURDAY | 06.21.03 | 2:21pm | being your teacher has sucked have any of you been to the "best of craig's list"??? i found this today and couldn't stop laughing... how is it that summer vacation is nearly here and you are going to be out of my life for good? being your teacher has been so hard. you have cursed me out, called one of the girl's moms a "fat slut," given me the middle finger, beat up j (he switched classes because of you), told me your mom was going to punch me in the face, threatened to take down a huge floor to ceiling pipe and hit us all with it, refused to do all of your math (and writing and reading and art), made the music teacher say "if he is in my class again i will quit", almost made ms. d quit because she would rather quit than be your para, stole my special marble behavior improvement system, stole my money, kicked p in the back, tried to hit your para with a door, called out the correct spelling of each word as i called it out for the spelling test (jerk), sharpened your pencil during read aloud with the express purpose of stabbing the kids, talked about all of the kids mothers and fathers, and, as they told me, you talked about their "whole families," made f a bully for a few months, made w a bully (he is NOT your cousin, i checked), you wrote in crayon on the chalkboard and you put crayons in the heater, which was smelly. and your mom, who called j a pussy and threatened to make a really nice teacher lose her job, and never asked for your report card.....you just suck, it could have been a great school year but you ruined it. you are a bully, and you don't deserve a free education. all of the kids are glad you left but when i see you in the hall i shudder to think what kind of person you will grow up to be. i can't believe you are only eight years old.
MONDAY | 06.16.03 | 7:01pm | punk poetry a friend turned me onto this group and i just have to recommend their cd... here are the lyrics (or at least what i could make of them) to one of their songs (and don't quote me on these):
actors & actresses
there are so many better choices out there
date the coffee shop girl
date the angry deli man
date your shiatsu expert
date your chat room romeo
date the ex-addict from your AA meeting
date your hindu vitala
someday you're gonna need
date your mary jean partner
date your mexican chef who left
date your gay cater waiter
date your soupy taxi driver
date the teenage little sister
FRIDAY | 06.13.03 | 1:03pm | drowning drowning has always been my biggest fear and, in fact, i've never been able to shake the feeling that when i die i'll die by water... i've never learned to swim and i don't really wish to... why sit in a bathtub when a shower is just as good??? sharks are scary... boats are evil... waterbeds, well, waterbeds are just stupid... i've always thought of water as this big monster just waiting to grab a hold of me... lakes are the calm fingers of a predator connected to rivers that are swift arms pulling me into an ocean stomach that is never satisfied... the idea that i'm nothing but a tasty morsel makes me lose sleep... last night charlie and i emerged from the subway station in a torrential downpour and neither of us had an umbrella... without even looking back down the staircase he walked out into it as if it were nothing... reluctantly i followed and was drenched within thirty seconds... i hated it... i had to traverse huge raging puddles and somehow, at the same time, keep the water out of my eyes and nose... when he did look back at me he had been smiling but saw how much it was scaring me and quickly tried to ease my worries... how can such a wonderful person love water??? i thought... his eyes were glowing... he was in some kind of heaven that i couldn't comprehend... he held my hand... well, that makes it easier... i looked at him again and i laughed... suddenly it was good... somehow water became fun... later in bed i was lying and thinking about all of it... how had i been able to enjoy something that has for such a long time been my biggest fear... then i realized that i'd been drowning for the last six months... i had been overcome by a current so unexpected that i had lost myself in it completely... not really knowing how to swim and not wanting to fight i just let it take me where it would... i was in the clutches of something bigger than me and to resist would just prolong the inevitable... drowning felt good... i was in love... i was free... and about freedom... it was quite a revolution to find that my greatest feeling of freedom came in companionship... i've never felt more free than i do when i'm in this person's embrace... falling free is much nicer when someone is falling right beside you... stay with me under these waves, tonight
MONDAY | 06.30.03 | 10:04pm | weekly review
please listen
i'm just trying to be nice
it's only rare now i give
unwanted advice
your egos are fragile
your pockets are bare
but i know that all you want
is love and to die
a millionaire
so please don't take this wrong
my advice is well meant
but of all the mistakes you make
don't date your agent
who's got no ass
date the stripper from new zealand
in your stand up comedy class
who just got robbed
date the night time cleaning lady
at your proofreading job
date your personal trainer
date your jiva multi-goddess
date your judo master
your aerobics juliet
date that little girl with
them great abs who won't get wet
date the girlfriend or your friend
who's in LA for pilot season
date your super intendant
but whatever you do
don't date your agent
your precious ten percent
so don't date your agent
with the seven year itch
date the buddhist pop song writer
who calls herself a bitch
two kids back in el paso
date your jewish princess who says
"sex is a disgusting hassle"
date your lesbian cater cook
date the puerto rican cashier
who won't give you a second look
date your bald CPA
date the executive who shouts in bed
but has nothin' to say
of your ex-girlfriend
date the anorexic model who
fought you for heroine
date your next-door neighbors nanny
with the french accent
but whatever you do
don't date your agent
be free for once in your life tonight
- jeff buckley - nightmares by the sea
