can't wait to meet you...
TUESDAY | 04.20.04 | 8:46pm | this is why i'm losing hair and gaining weight i had decided not to write about all of the drama i've going through for the last few months because i thought that i was in a contract that created a confidential relationship between myself and a web design client (the name of which i will keep undisclosed) and that information concerning this client's business affairs, finances, properties, methods of operation, and documentation, and other such information, whether written, oral, or otherwise, was confidential in nature. you see, i met with this client back in december and it was then that i presented her (okay, i'll at least tell you her gender) with a contract and an estimated fee for the project... she said at the time that she needed a few days to look over the contract before signing, at which time the contract would be sent to me... well, i never did get that contract from her and never really felt that it was absolutely necessary since the project was moving so smoothly... not to mention the fact that i'd already been paid $3250 (the first half of the project fee) from her... anyway, i got an email today from her stating that she had never signed the contract and therefore we had no agreement between the two of us... awesome, i say, 'cause now i can tell the world what a bitch this whole ordeal has been... let's rewind to december, shall we??? i started this project the same way i start every project - i met with the client, got ideas and requirements for what exactly the site needed to encompass, came up with three design options that i felt could house such requirements, had her choose either one of those designs or elements from any of them that i could then in turn use to complete the site... i got paid half up front (thank the gods) and got to work... now, here's where it get's sticky... she decided off the bat to allow her secretary take control of the project on their end... thus began the work relationship that i would be involved in for two and a half months... it was a great relationship... we had such great dialog between the two of us and the site took wonderful shape... it would, in fact, eventually become the one site i was most proud of... we worked and worked to get all of the elements (design, structure and content) in tune with each other and produced a kick ass website... around the end of february i received a message from the big boss lady stating that she thought it was "great to see the site begin to take life and preliminary shape." PRELIMINARY SHAPE!?!?!? i thought... what the fuck, right??? then she started talking about how she and her friend who happened to be "one of the most successful
marketing executives in the business world of global advertising" met regarding the site and came up with a "revised architecture" for the site... these revisions would end up increasing the size of the original site approximately 75%... that's a big jump in size, okay??? here's the catch - she honestly believed that revisions of this nature would be included in my original estimate... um, well, i want to finish this project and produce a site that the client is pleased with, right??? of course i do!!! but i can't work another two or three months on a redesign and not request a renegotiation of the agreement and the fee!!! that would be like hiring a contractor to install a new sink in your kitchen and then request new floors and counter-tops and frying pans at no additional charge... so, i wrote to her about these concerns of mine... first she refused to even consider anything of the sort and then she went bonkers... here suddenly after not being directly involved with the project (a choice she made herself in the beginning, mind you) she knew all sorts of details from the prior two months... the only problem with that, you see, is that she had no idea what the hell she was talking about... then she began accusing me of trying to steal money from her and threatened my credibility as a professional designer by stating that my behavior would appear dishonest and unethical to most people in business... so here now she wants to cut off all ties with me... i should have left it alone at that, but of course i did not... i was almost finished with this site!!! i mean, all that remained was the insertion of a few pieces of content that i was still waiting on and that was it!!! i'd worked two and a half months on a project that was worth $6500 (it was actually worth a lot more than that but i gave them a break in price 'cause i liked them when i met them... i'll never do that again) and was only paid half of that amount... after reviewing all of the work i'd done and comparing it to the amount of work it would take to complete the site in its original form i estimated that i was 100% finished with the design, 100% finished with the structure and about 85% finished with the plugging in of content... i decided that the product was worth another $2000 but i instead invoiced them for $1650... the request was, of course, ignored so i decided to get a lawyer into the mix... after carefully reviewing everything he said that i would definitely be owed at least that much and that according to our contract that they simply had to pay me... we worked up a letter and sent it off to them... tick tock tick tock i didn't hear anything for over a month so i wrote again - this time demanding that they pay me and that if i didn't hear back from them that i'd have no choice but to initiate legal action against them... i guess they took notice 'cause i had a response within the hour... you'll never guess what the response was!!! well, it was pretty much "go to hell, you silly web designer"... they'd decided to look for another designer who would give them what they want... wow, okay, so here's where i decide to just leave it all alone... however, i really wanted my contract back from her... that was just pissing me off like when i was in fourth grade and jose rodriguez came up to me in the cafeteria one day and scooped up my jello with this fingers and ate it right in front of me... ugh... she wrote today to say that she had the contracts notarized (whoopdeedoo) to show that she had not signed them... wait a minute, i thought... does this mean that the design is in no way their property and that i can use it anyway i please??? well, i don't know for certain if that is what it means, but i'm gonna find out... anyway, so here's me - back in touch with you and filling you in on why my website has advertisement banners on it and why my cell phone is disconnected and why i'm fifteen pounds heavier than i was at christmas (i swear to the gods)... i'm a good person... i'm a good designer... i've never until now had someone displeased with my work or my performance... i don't know how to take it... add to that the fact that i can't get work and you'll see why i'm beginning to question whether or not i'm actually good at anything... oh, and add to that the fact that i just got a part time job at a movie rental "gallery" and you'll really see what i mean... i mean i'm meaningless... and nothing feels worse than that... i try to look happy a lot and i try to sound happy a lot and i try and try and try... i'm tired... i feel ten years older than i am and i'm beginning to look the part... i need something wonderful to happen to me soon... i need to get struck by a lightning bolt of success... i need someone to discover me and tell the world how great i really am... i need that all so i can get up out of bed in the morning... i just need to feel good... it's long overdue...
TUESDAY | 04.20.04 | 2:16am | bite my ass we've had a difficult last couple of days... yesterday (sunday) charlie and i decided to take daisy (our precious beagle) for a walk... we planned to walk down to the lake with her, sit there for a while and enjoy the beautiful day... on the way, we were approached by a couple of loose dogs... they seemed friendly at first, but the facade quickly faded when a large white shepphard-type-of-dog attacked daisy and just laid into her... daisy screamed a scream that not only lasted for what seemed forever, but was at such a pitch that it split my earlobes... i pulled the beast off of our baby and she was freeeeeaked out... we quickly examined her and found no wound... it seemed that she was just really scared... it wasn't until charlie picked her up to carry her home that we found the bite... and it was bad... she was bleeding a lot and crying even more... we called the vet (who was, of course, closed) and scheduled an emergency examination... the vet shaved the areas where she'd been bitten to better evaluate the injuries... it was incredibly sad... daisy was put on prescription drugs and sent home... i went to good ol' wal-mart, bought some wound dressings and baby aspirin and now i don the household doctor suit... she's all bandaged up and limping and laying around... sigh... it's so difficult and frustrating not knowing if i'm doing everything i can to take care of her... but she's a little angel and she's definitely the best patient i've ever had...
SUNDAY | 04.18.04 | 3:26am | okay, i think it's time to really write to y'all... well, i figure that it's about time that i write and fill you (the one person still checking in on this site) in on the few things going on in my life... you may remember that back in february i wrote about being close to finishing a big website... well, it's actually been on hiatus since then and still isn't done... i did start another web site and it is (i promise) about finished... waiting on a few minor details before taking it live... there have been a few other bites for work, but i haven't officially been hired for any of those... money is getting extremely tight around here (yes, money gets tight in west virginia, too) so it looks like i may have to get a small part-time job doing something meaningless... ugh... also, since mentioning a while back that i'd started painting in oils it looks like i may be getting commissioned to paint some "art" for a friend in california... i never did post the finished painting that i wrote about in february... i guess i've been really nervous to... like i said, it was my first attempt at oils and i'm really apprehensive to post it... i've not thought twice about putting my sketches up on this site, but for some reason the painting seems to be a little more personal to me... that, plus i'm afraid that i actually kind of suck at painting... but, you know, since this website has all but vanished completely into thin air, i guess it's okay if you (my one loyal fan) see it... fine, here's my very first oil painting - a portrait of my charlie lookin' a little bit like jesus: i'm totally excited and nervous about painting something for someone's living room... i'm still throwing ideas around in my head for choosing a subject, but i really want to get started on it soon... say a prayer or chant or something... i saw choire on entertainment tonight or access hollywood or hard copy or one of those (as he put it once) shows that will "rot your brain"... you have no idea how absolutely trippy it is to see old friends from new york on tv here in west virginia... while i am assured that new york is now more overrated than ever, there are still countless people in there that i miss terribly... geez, i sure wish someone would call, write or visit... oh, and by the way - thank you so much for trying to ignore the annoying banners at the top of all my poor little pages... i haven't paid my server in months and they're trying to make my site look like poo... i promise that once i get it all taken care of you'll see a much sexier and expensive looking site than you do right now... thank you for your patience and god save the queen...
THURSDAY | 04.08.04 | 9:59am | the view from my front porch... asato ma sadgamaya
FRIDAY | 04.30.04 | 6:11pm | spring...
tamaso ma jyotirgamaya
mrityur ma amritam gamaya
om shanti shanti ommmmmm
